Golf Tip

Google
 
Web www.golf-tip.org

POSTCARD FROM A PERPLEXING PLANET




Desert Golf, A Walk On The Wild Side
Desert golf, a walk on the wild side! Have you played desert golf in Arizona, Las Vegas, Reno, Palm Springs. Why play a traditional golf .....
(c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved.

Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the 'White Elephant Express Space Shuttle', to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away.

'IT' (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your average 'oddball' exo-solar planet made of rock that wobbles on its end and zips around a nearby star in less than 2.46 days.

Happy Trails For A Stress-Free Year
Finding happiness is easier than you might think. Happiness is all around us, and all we have to do is hop in the car and hit the road to find it. .....
Most linear thinkers have a great deal of difficulty even comprehending why on earth anyone in their 'right mind' would be interested in visiting a planet called 'IT'. Not being a linear thinker with an investment in the 'right' answer, I didn't give a hoot. After all, what does one (who walks on water and listens to miffed mortals all day long) do for a frigging night off, now I ask you'

If truth be told, (after reading random excerpts from 'The Itty Bitty Bunkum Book About Life, the Universe and Practically Everything Under the Sun Not To Mention Stuff Going On In Remote Galaxies), I was simply delirious. According to its noted author, Dr. Jarn Leffer, 'IT is a 'must-see' for those with little time on their hands and a passionate interest in Innocuous Things.'

As planets go, 'IT' is a pretty ho-hum celestial pit-stop with perhaps one exception' the welcome notice that reads, 'Cosmic Cowboys - Welcome to the furthest unexplored outreaches of the Galaxy ' Home to the Flop Fairy and Oodles of Gadflies!'

'IT' is populated by colonies of giggling, green grasshoppers . What else would you expect to inhabit a far-flung, fantasy-challenged hellhole like this' But, what made 'IT' strictly speaking a strange place was the fact that the inhabitants munch on green, biodegradable garbage bags just for fun. Lacking masticating capabilities, the gadflies process their food by vigorously jumping up and down on it. No wonder they have no need for fast-food franchises, strip malls or landfills!

Anyway, I picked up this picturesque postcard of the blessed ballyhooing buglugs. They look perfectly happy but don't be deceived. In reality, they're just a gang of glad-handing grasshoppers. They don't play golf, eat burgers, or drink beer -- and none can frost a rock! Come to think of it, apart from the company of bugs and the elusive flop fairy, this pathetic planet has precious little going for IT!!

Authentic Spirituality: Pure And Undefiled Religion
Because of the bright lights behind me, the golf balls themselves appeared to be glowing that night as they flew through the air. I couldn't avoid .....
To put "IT" bluntly, life on 'IT' is just shy of a tittynope*. The jolly green grasshoppers and the carefully manicured green fairways with sand traps as far as the eye can see certainly make for an utterly harmless world. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, and the notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- 'IT' is about as fun as bag of toads!

Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel agent before ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet called 'IT' in a galaxy named 'Have-a-Nice-Day'!!

__________

*"Tittynope" for you whiffling word-peckers means "a small quantity of anything left over".

If you want to know what those green, glad-handing grasshoppers from "IT" look like -- ask any four-year old, or failing that request some help from a Flying Saucer Club member.

About the Author

Theolonius McTavish is a somewhat spaced-out time-traveller (of minor relevance and importance in the great scheme of things). When not probing odd things happening somewhere in the depths of the universe, he enjoys chinwagging with all manner of merry folk at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com

Are You Thinking About What You're Thinking About
Do you realize that your belief system is ultimately what will determine whether you live a successful life or not'

Since your thoughts are what your belief system is composed of, you .....

The articles and content provided on this website have been contributed by guest authors, and may not reflect the views, opinions, thoughts or beliefs of http://www.golf-tip.org/ or its staff. We are not responsible for copyright infringements by columnists, writers and authors. We do not necessarily endorse or promote the services, advice or products by, from and mentioned by any authors, writers or columnists. http://www.golf-tip.org/ will not be liable for any loss or damage suffered by a user through the user's reliance on information and advice gained through the articles, interviews, stories, columns, and any and all writings viewed on this website.